Good day to you who are reading, I hope you are doing faaaantastic. Are you learning anything these days about life? If so, definitely write it down. Jesus has taught me a lot the past few days and I decided the other day to write my thoughts down. I have been debating whether or not to post these thoughts on a blog or not. These thoughts were not intended for anyone to read but the whole time I was writing I felt that other people should read so here it is, Joe Carter's Official Journal Entry Two Thousand Double O Nine.

Saved by God's Grace

            It is by the grace of Jesus that I am writing what I have learned down. Where is my wisdom without the word of God? How subtle darkness is in life. I write this note to myself with thanksgiving to my savior who does not let me fall off the edge or into the traps the enemy makes, using my own funding for each snare. I write four years after an event that changed the course of my life and see it as a foreshadowing into the spiritual journey I see taking form.

            Last Monday (3/23/09), I saw a vision in the Nicaraguan HOP that led Seth Barnes Jr. to speak in tongues and receive a revelation from God for me. He said that, "God seeks to make all things new," which I remember him repeating, and also, "God will heal you and it will be a testimony to many people." I jumped to a conclusion that it was for my Barrio ministry because I had been praying for the last hour needing direction from God about whether or not we should go through with our plan to teach the kids about healing or not. Seth then assured me that he felt God's words were for my life. I, even now, take these words to heart and that night I began anticipating the ways I could get hurt the next day-the worst was tearing my knee. I wanted to see more visions, my heart was incredibly excited and then I demanded I see more for the sake of my faith and those I am ministering to. 

            For the first time I began to speak in tongues-initially laughing because I accidentally snuck some Spanish words in there. Next, I prayed for the empowerment of the Holy Spirit and asked for the gift of speaking in tongues. It happened and as I spoke my voice drained out and words from Jesus resonated in my mind. "Don't be hasty my Son. Don't be hasty, my Son, my Son." As I repeated phrases these words miraculously spoke to my heart. I wanted so bad to get direction from God about my VBS ministry right in the moment; these words served to put me in check and trust God that a plan will come. Seth had already left and because he said he thought God wanted to speak to me through a dream I decided it was time to head to bed. I slept with a headlamp, pen, and paper at my bedside, earnestly awaiting a prophetic dream from Jesus. Though I woke up several times praying, the morning came and I could not remember any visions.

The day before God had put three distinct stories on my heart: first, the story of Laserath, then Zacheas and then the Parable of the Lost Sheep. Trying to not be hasty, I decided to teach the Parable, focusing on the foundation of Christianity: love. God gave me a very concise schedule for VBS and everything flowed together during the ministry that morning. I was able to finish by teaching, "The Great Commission," to the kids; I linked God's love for us, the lost sheep, to the command to love God and then asked, "Who loves themselves?" After we encouraged all the kids to raise their hands, I sent them out with the command from the Bible: "Love your neighbor as yourself." I asked them to have stories ready for the next VBS. It was our best VBS yet.

Life was going very well and I was feeling pretty good about myself and the ways God was using me in the 5k-race. One of my leaders even wrote a blog about me, which was very encouraging. The whole community here was showing their love to me-on a walk to the Internet I talked to about fifteen Nicaraguans. Then I forgot my Bible at Corazon Contento (the special needs center) and decided that I could use some time anyway to allow what I had been learning about to sink in so I casually asked a teammate to pick it up who later forgot. Then I received an e-mail from my parents saying I got a $2500-4000 scholarship to run for Cedarville and I even got my first love letter from a Nicaraguan girl in my ESL class, ha. Things were great and was feeling very confident in where I was at with my faith and pretty popular. I was slowly led into this security. Though it is good to feel secure, pride was slithering in. 

Four years ago I found out I needed surgery on my leg and I was going to have to spend my sophomore winter recovering. I was angry at God but recovered remarkably quick and by the spring I had the number one seed for the mile at states (though I was beaten by two seniors on the last lap). I see a parallel of this event to my life right now as I write with one hand. As a sophomore in high school I had fallen asleep in my faith until God woke me up and as I read the other day in, "The Final Quest," "Take heed when you think you stand, lest you fall;" God woke me up as I dangerously walked towards the edge so many have fallen off due to pride. A God that truly loves me loved me enough to see my physical body hurt to save my spiritual being. So instead of taking a spiritual fall, which really matters in life, yesterday my body launched itself in the air as I kicked the air and not the soccer ball, and I reached backwards to catch my fall, which fractured my wrist. 

I have grown tremendously already going through the frustrations of having every task I do take forever and having to ask my teammates for help washing dishes or doing trivial tasks. All my life I have felt pretty invincible and my reputation sent daggers in my way as a teammate commented, "I can't believe it, the great Joe Carter is broken." It has been one thing to be broken mentally, but physically it has been a challenge. However, I write with victory in mind as I just had an awesome experience where instead of thinking of all the terrible things that have resulted from my broken wrist, I decided to praise God for all the good things in my life. After ten minutes I realized my God really does care about me and wants me to grow. My thoughts are excitedly drawn to the prophetic words Seth said in the prayer house that I would be healed and it would touch many lives. He prophesied it, four days later I broke my wrist and on Monday we are going to teach our VBS, as planned three weeks ago, on the story of the healing/raising of the dead of Laserath.

Isaiah 42:6-9 "I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open the eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeons those who sit in darkness. "I am the lord; that is my name! I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols. See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you."

Okay, so really deep, intense, new, touchy things right? Remember that the Bible says we should seek spiritual gifts and I am trying to as I strive to reach fullness in Christ. It feels like all my friends back home and my Grandmother would call me crazy for writing these things or feeling this way-but I say go big or go home. If I am going to try and really live the Christian life, why hold anything back? Why not act wholeheartedly on what I am learning while I am living with a team of likeminded supporters? So I am supposed to be "casted" for four weeks-No RUNNING. GAAA, pray that God give me the perseverance to grow through this trial in my life. Please, write down any thoughts you have about what I have written because I know that a bulk of what I am learning is an uncomfortable subject for a lot of people-myself included. Thanks for reading today, pray I will be healed, and I will continue to give thanks for my supporters!

-Jose Cartier