This Torrent
Man, these past weeks were wicked tiresome. I try pretty hard to keep God number one in all my relationships, homework, fun, mornings, nights and this means praying as often as I can, seeking his will throughout my day and trying to keep my heart thankful and pursue joy and peace. This is difficult when I constantly juggle school assignments, time alone with God, friendships, exercise, hard issues of people all around me, and my own view of myself-though I am a positive person I hold myself to a really tough standard a lot. One thing that has kept me sane is this:
Through a conversation with Seth Barnes Jr. and then some intense prayer out back, God strongly conv
eyed that I needed to grab these two guys, challenge them, and pray with them often. I took them out back with me in “the spot,” we had some tough talk (lots of issues surfaced), hit a possum and chased it with a stick (very nasty creatures), and then I shared my heart. Since then, Zach Filtz, Carl Heinly and I meet every night to talk about struggles, good things, and things we want to see change and always end with prayer. They have been sick! God always show up. Other guys from the hall come sometimes and the darkest secrets/struggles come to light. It is weird, I don’t pry, cut, break thumbs, chant or do a dance, I just ask the person what’s up-God does the rest through the Holy Spirit’s conviction. It is one of my favorite times of the day.
Struggles. “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18). “We…groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved” (23-24). “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution…danger or sword?…Neither present nor the future…will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.”
For a while now the waters of your tro
ubles rise to surround my head. Such awful struggles people have! You seem to fall all around me-your hearts cut out and bleeding. Your parents hurt you, you hurt yourself, you hate yourself, depression takes its stand, you just want sex or alcohol, the church threw you out, sin is too hard sometimes, God is absent, you won’t believe in Him, your stuff is broken, you’re sick. I’m sick, I sin, I hurt, I’m tired, school is hard, I want to give in! Oh, but what great, great hope I have! This peace, do you know it? Do you possess a love that will never be wrenched from your grasp? That is a blanket for you at night? Whose love letters you can carry with you everywhere? Despite all the insanity and unbearable hurt around me and within me, this torrent, there is this unshakeable, unchangeable promise that stands when I smile, cry, get sick, am content, am nervous. You get the picture. Without my love, Jesus, I break away like a dam in The Lord of the Rings, into the hot lava below and take people with me! I am desperate to stay firm in my hope in Jesus Christ, and you with your problems, I love you. So does Jesus, but more so. Stand firm and let Jesus lead you to the ultimate rest planned since the creation of the world!
Psalm 62:5 “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone.”
Jeremiah 6:16 “Ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls…”
Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
In Heaven: “Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat. For the lamb at the center of the throne will be their Shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”
See? No one in this world has the hands to wipe away your hurt, I don’t have the power. I am merely a buffer-if that. God is this intimate in Heaven and can be just as intimate on Earth. He keeps me standing, loving the hard people to love, and alive. I love my Savior and God and the rest He gives!
Thanx bro! I was encouraged. Sometimes i feel like I’m so focused and full of His joy, and other times I feel like i’m way off the deep end. It’s good to know that you can relate to the college baggage. Let’s pray for each other all the more so that the Lamb will be even more glorified in our lives.
You’re awesome, man! You’ve got such an incredible wealth of lift in your heart that so many others around you have the privilege of benefiting from. Keep it up, man of God!
that’s supposed to be “wealth of life” not “wealth of lift”